Lyle was hunting geese up in the Northern Minnesota woods. He leaned the old 16 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. As luck would have it, his foolish dog Ginger knocked the gun over, it went off and Lyle took most of an ounce of #4 shot in the groin.

Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to and there was his doctor, Sven. " Vell Lyle, I got some good noos and some bad noos. Da good noos is dat you’re going to be OK. Da damage vas local to your groin, dere was very little internal damage, and I vas able to remove all of da buckshot."
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"What's the bad news?", asks Lyle
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"The bad noos is dat dere vas some pretty extensive external buckshot damage done. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena."

"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Lyle. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"

"Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a woodwind player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra And because all you have is Obamacare, she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't **** in your eye.

[Edited by your favorite stuck-up moderator]