So, this whole thread can be dropped now. The car has been sent off for salvage. I got a replacement BCM and brought it in for reprogramming. They couldn't get it done due to their equipment not being able to communicate with any of the computer modules, even the new BCM (which was returned under warranty). They're theorizing that an electrical short occurred for an extended period and damaged them all. I have a feeling they're right due to battery problems encountered recently, and there was likely an internal battery short.

The cost to replace all of the modules and have them reprogrammed, on top of the $450 already spent for the tow and additional diagnostic time at the dealer, just made it all feel not worth it to continue. It's a shame since the engine was still in great running condition.

Sorry to hear.
Not too often a Satty completely electrically pukes but it happens.

Don't understand the part about them not being able to communicate with the brand new BCM.

We maybe dropping this post with regards to discussion, but it remains a valuable troubleshooting tool for the many that come after you. Thank you for taking the time to document your issues. It will be of assistance to others.

I'd have probably pulled the engine and trans out and tried to find another decent body that needed one or the other. But that's just the way I'm hard wired. Cheap bastard!

I think the new BCM was either defective or somehow got damaged once it was installed. Oddly enough, the dealer tech mentioned they had no problem communicating with the original BCM. Either way, it didn't feel worth digging further into the issues.

hehe
Too bad I don't have the resources for that. I have a couple old (30+ yo) Fords probably need an engine rebuild for some gaskets and such, but no hoists or stands, or proper space to keep them.

A good, stout tree limb and a come along with a chain are all it takes! I wouldn't know how to act if I had a place with an overhead hoist or cherry picker! LOL