A five year old and a four year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the five year old, "I think it's about time we start swearing." The four year old nods his head in approval. The 5 year old continues, "When we go down stairs for breakfast I'm gonna say "hell", and you say "***", okay?" The four year old agrees with enthusiasm.
The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the five year old what he wants for breakfast, "Aw hell Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.".....WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs bawling.
The mom looks at the four year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I'm not sure," he says, "but you can bet your *** it won't be Cheerios."

 

Sounds autobiographical if you ask me.....

 

My Mom DID have a wicked back hand! LOL